sigh

fine.nth goes right.
jus now i jus finished blogging den my mother came home
started scolding n scolding.
all i did was forget to wash a bowl. just ONE.
and my bro forgot to wash two bowls and four cups.
wad crap is dis. she also scold him.
but surely he care.den i hav to wash everything.
fair? no.
surely i take take it.one day.so mani things.
at first so happi.den so sad.
my nerves r going nuts.i cant stand it laa.
i dun lyk going online anymore.
i always get so sad wen im online.
but who will care anyway.
i dunt make a difference.not in anyone's life.
im jus born to be on dis earth.
and nth else.wad ever.
pessimistic? not realli.
wad im typing out sounds better than wad im realli feeling now.
yea yea im sacarstic. so? wadever.
life realli sucks.
fine here i go again.



arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i cant stand it.
i tink i suck too
i hate myself la
wen i become so pessimistic de lor
i dun wan to be ok
but im always reminded of you.
horrible thingsssssssssss.
great now everyone's unhappi.
my parents r not happi.
my bro is not happi.
im obviously not happi either.
arrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
im having lyk sort of rashes now after co camp.
den my skin is sort of lyk peeling?
and happi 6th week anniversary to my ankle.
rest in peace?
hmph.
i dun lyk dis feeling now.
so mani ppl online.tink about 20?
but talking to nobodi.
i got nth to say le.
im blogging.im talking to myself.
how pathetic.

i dunno laa.
dunno if im angry.im sad.
jealous.disgusted or wad.
i dunoooooooooooooooooo
maybe nobodi realli understands me
bcos i myself dun realli understand myself.

i can cry in front of u. and u might not noe.
i may be angry at u at this moment.
and u might not noe.
maybe i hate to let ppl noe dat im crying.
i dun lyk ppl looking at me while i cry.
so maybe.it has become a habit.i dunt noe.
last time.hav small misunderstandings..
cry in school. still hav ppl to console me.
i rmbr i wld hav qi qin to hug me.
geraldine always dere to tell me to stop crying.
n say alort of stuff also..
tingting..always telling me dat my nose is so red lyk rudolph..
dat time can feel so comforted.dat dey care.
quite happi memories.
but now.i cry.nobodi noes.deres nth to tell.
nth to be comforted about. nth to do.

ok fine im digressing rite.i havent done my tuition hw. again.
its tml at 7 and i still hav a pile of damn it hw.
plus the co day camp. 9-5. ya n now is alrdy 10.30?
whr i get the time to do hw?
piaa lor tonite. wad an excellent choice.wow.
i almost forgot la ok.
todae so mani things.
bio test on monday.
chinese test too next week.
hi.just get ready to be a failure for the next wk.

im not looking forward to monday.
maybe its the bio test.i dunt noe.
maybe its just going to school.
maybe i just want a break.
i realli good break from all this lack of sleep.
break from all the homework.tests.camps.
but wad choice do i hav.none.
co?syf coming. no choice. pia lor
studying n hw?tests exist.no choice. pia lor
feeling sad?all the above exist.
i hav no choice.
i jus have to pia.
force myself to do everything lor.
the onli thing left to do is so let go ba
i dun hate u ler.
ya i dun.but
its so saddistic to read ur own previous posts and realised dat u're damn pessimistic.
o well.


arghhhhhh













wadever








i dun wanna care anymore










































not anymore







its the end of this chapter in my life.


its h i s t o r y le

the end.fullstop.